Saten Twist Adventures Season 2
by Howl of a Werewolf
Summary: He's back!, and so are the collection of spoofs towards episodes and fanfics.. I hope you enjoy it..
1. Chapter 1

**STORY ONE:**

* * *

The story begins with when Rarity shows Trenderhoof around Ponyville, specifically spots that will serve as venues for the Ponyville Days festival events, and Trenderhoof is moderately impressed. However, he seems particularly taken with Sweet Apple Acres, especially Applejack the moment he sees her. The travel writer becomes instantly smitten with the farm-pony and calls her the pony of his dreams, devastating Rarity, and she ended up leaving.

* * *

PROBABLY THE NEXT DAY.

* * *

Rarity trying too hard to impress Trenderhoof. Tries several attempts to steal Trenderhoof away from Applejack, including plowing fields and apple-bucking. However, her attempts all fail and only attract Trenderhoof to Applejack more.

However, at one point, Saten Twist flew into the scene also, asking who Trenderhoof is.

"What is it with you guys. This is the writer Trenderhoof, how can you guys not know him" Rarity said, a bit annoyed.

"I'm born from Fillydefia, give me a break" Saten groaned, still hovering in the air.

"Anyway. This isn't the best time Saten, He's attracted to AppleJack and I-

"Wait, WHAT!?" Saten cried in disbelief and possible anger.

* * *

This gave Rarity a reminder of how Saten has had strong romantic feelings for AppleJack for nearly three years now, and it gave her a 'new' idea.

Rarity decided to go over to Saten's house, it's clear they would have a common interest, and as much as they don't always like each other, they should probably work together.

Inside Saten's house, probably trying to forget about what Rarity informed him, he was using a glass bong full of Marijuna while the begining lyrics of Black Greace by The Black Angels was playing in the background.

(_**such a awesome song**_).

"God. This weed sucks. I'm gonna have ta talk to Master Sword about where he found it" Saten cried, disappointed in how non effective the drug is.

Suddenly there was a knock on his door.

"Hold on, hold on" Saten said hiding the bong before opening the door.

"Oh.. It's you" Saten said, groaning cause he isn't always the biggest fan of Rarity, she is the only one he knows who judges him solely on his drinking even though it's only by a little bit, plus she tends to purposely embarrass him in front of AppleJack.

"What's with your eyes?" Rarity asked, seeing his eyes were even 'more' red then they already were before.

"I.. Couldn't sleep" Saten lied.

"If you say so" Rarity said, clearly unconvinced.

"Anyway. Can you please turn that song off" Rarity asked, as the song Black Greace was still playing loudly.

"GOh come on, it's a classic" Saten said happily, and dancing a little.

"No argument there, but I really need to talk to you darling" Rarity said.

"Okay, fine, whatever" Saten said, before turning the CD player off.

"So what do you want?" Saten asked the attract white unicorn.

"I need you to steer Trenderhoof away from AppleJack" Rarity insisted.

"Why? You're the one who's always ruining my attempts to impress AppleJack, by always embarrassing me infront of her" Saten groaned.

"Look.. I believe that you have as much a chance of dating someone like AppleJack. As the Twilight Saga dose of ever becoming 'watchable'.. But it's never too late to prove me wrong" Rarity told the red Pegasus.


	2. Chapter 2

Trenderhoof was still following AppleJack all over town, trying to impress her, and obvilious of her complete lack of interested in him.

At one point Saten Twist appeared literary out of nowhere, while wearing in usual outfit.

"Saten? What do y'all want now?" AppleJack groaned to the red Pegasus.

"Jee.. Good seeing you to Jacky" Saten said with clear sarcasm.

"Ah thought ah told ya ta stop calling me that" AppleJack groaned.

"You did, but I can't help, it sounds so cute.. (somewhat pervertly) Just like you" Saten replied, to the beautifully orange, southern pony.

"Please Saten.. I had a long day. Ah don't have for all this" AppleJack replied with her strong accent.

"Yes., I heard that nerd over there has taken a shine to you" Saten replied, holding back anger, but AppleJack knows him well enough to realise this.

"There's no need ta be jealous" AppleJack convinced the male pegasus.

"Jealous!?.. Me!?.. Don't be redicious" Saten replied, hiding a twitching eye.

"Well.. Ah'm impressed, your taking this very we-

"I'LL KILL YOU!" Saten suddenly and aggressively, screamed at Trenderhoof, with a a scary expression on his face as he his eyes grew even redder and his teeth almost became fangs.

"SATEN!" AppleJack cried angrily.

"Sorry. Sorry" Saten said, his voice calmer, and his face back to normal.

"Don't worry, plenty I can do to keep myself accupied.. Maybe I'll check out the toolshed" Saten said, flying off towards the tool shed.

"Is he gonna kill me?" Trenderhoof asked.

"Saten? Please, he's harmless" AppleJack insisted, though in truth she was abit worried herself.

"But just in case.. I better go check on him" The southern pony added, and went to catch up to Saten Twist.


	3. Chapter 3

Saten returned into the barn.

Rarity was still inside as well.

"Well.. Were you successful? Is he gonna stop flirting with AppleJack" Rarity asked anxiously.

"Not yet.. But don't worry, I'm ending this wait here and now" Saten said from off view.

"Oh. That's good to hear- wait, IS THAT A CROSSBOW!?" Rarity cried, her beautiful eyes widening in shock.

Sure enough, Saten was holding a sport crossbow, and loading it with a real arrow and said "Yep.. Ending it here and now" Saten said and pointed the crossbow at Trenderlane as he stood in the background.

"NOO!" Rarity cried, pulling him back.

"I didn't mean 'take care of it' in THAT way!" Rarity cried.

"Well.. He stole AppleJack. So he shou-

"Look Saten.. Keep him alive.. Or I'll tell AppleJack about how you watch her sleep" Rarity said, turning to blackmail.

Hey! That was ONCE!" Saten cried out nervously.


	4. Chapter 4

Rarity after spilling mud on AppleJack's dress and finlky snapped out her attempts of impressing Trenderhoof by behaving like AppleaJack.

This got even worse for Rarity when she realised it was actually Rarity's own dress, and ran to clean it.

Saten awkwardly approached AppleJack. "That's uhh.. A lovely outfit" Saten said nervously.

"Well.. Thanks. I was only wearing it to snap Rarity out of annoying state.. It's kinda itchy actually" AppleJack insisted.

"Oh.. Well.. Dose this mean Trenderhoof will leave you alone?" Saten asked.

"Ah guess.. But ah'm glad to know you actually 'do' care for me" AppleJack admitted.

"I guess" Saten said a bit awkwardly.

AppleJack kissed his cheek softly.

Saten blushed.

"... Say. You wanna get some lunch together?" AppleJack asked.

"Of coarse" Saten said exitedly.

AppleJack smiled, rather cutely.

* * *

**Well. I know this sucked. But just needed to end the story.**

**So..**

**END OF EPISODE ONE..  
**


	5. Chapter 5

**EPISODE 2**

* * *

Spike: [snoring]

Twilight: Let's go through this one more time.

Rainbow Dash: [sighs] We've been over it like a million times, Twilight! We found all six keys, defeated Tirek, and got this sweet castle! End of story!

Twilight: Yes, but why?

Applejack: I dunno, sugarcube. Maybe it's just your new house and there ain't nothin' more to it than that.

Rarity: I must say, speaking strictly on aesthetics, there really doesn't need to be more to it. It's all simply divine!

Fluttershy: I agree with Twilight. And Rarity. And Applejack. And Rainbow Dash. And Pinkie Pie. Oh, and probably Spike.

Spike: [snoring]

* * *

Twilight: As princess, I've been chosen to spread the magic of friendship across Equestria. So why would the Tree of Harmony want us to sit in a castle in Ponyville? It doesn't make any sense.

Fluttershy: But if this is Ponyville, why are our cutie marks over there?

Twilight: I don't know. But it seems like the map wants us to find out. The Tree, the chest, this castle, and now the map. How can we ''not'' follow it?

* * *

(skips to them waiting for the train)

Twilight: Hey girls, I'm still looking at this map. The place seems to be somewhere in Fillydefia. So how would we know exactly where it is, if we never been to fillydefia..

Pinkie: Yeah.. I.. Sort of thought of that. So I, sort of, invited, someone else..

Twilight: Like wh-

Saten: (suddenly appears, clearly drunk) ALRIGGHT! LET'S DO THIS!

Pinkie: (sighs) Saten., You told me you weren't gonna drink..

Saten: (to Pinkie, still clearly drunk) W Would you and the twins relax.. I, I's got this.. (hiccup).. (trips and literary falls into the train)..

* * *

TO BE CONTINUED


	6. Chapter 6

Satan: (groans) Oh, I my head still hurts.

AppleJack: Well.. That's what ya get for drinking five wine bottles at once.

Satan: (groans) whatever.

* * *

Rainbow Dash: "this" is the were the the map sent us? It looks like the most boring place in Equestria.

AppleJack: It's just as ordinary town, full of ordinary pony folk.

Twilight: Satan Twist. Your from Fillydefia, any idea what this place is called?

Satan: That's just it. I never seen this place before. Witch is weird..

Twilight: Hmm.. That "is" weird.

Fluttershy: I think it's lovely.

Satan: (groans) of coarse you do.

Pinkie: I don't like. Don't like it one bit.. I know smiles. And those smiles. They just aren't right.

Twilight: Forget the smiles. Look at the cutie marks!

Rainbow Dash: Okay. "that's" weird!

Twilight: An entire town of the same cutie mark!? How could that be!?

Rainbow Dash: I bet there's some sort of horrific monster behind it.

Twilight: What makes you say that?

Rainbow Dash: Because fighting a horrific monster would be super-awesome!

Satan: (jokingly to AppleJack): See. Why can't you be more like 'her'

AppleJack: (cutely chuckles)

AppleJack: Anyway. Ah reckon we just ought to head into shown and talk to some locals. They could tell us what's going on.

Rainbow Dash: Good idea AJ. Let's go!

Pinkie: Those smiles are "bad news!"

* * *

Double Diamond: (knocking on door) Starlight. We have new visitors.

Rainbow Dash: Be ready to fight, who knows what's gonna come outta that door.

Starlight Glimmer: Welcome..

Saten: Oh my god.. She's so hot!

The main six look at him weirdly.

Satan: What?


	7. Chapter 7

Starlight Glimmer:NWelcome! I'm so pleased to have you here.

Rainbow Dash: [groans]

Double Diamond: This is Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Twilight Sparkle... And, umm... We never got the red one's name..

Saten: I'm Saten Twist.. (a bit pervertly too Starlight) but you could call me "anything you want.

Starlight Glimmer: Riiight.. (whispers) your have to better then that.

Starlight Glimmer: (turns her attention to Twilight) Forgive my bluntness, but I'm assuming it's _Princess_ Twilight Sparkle? We don't get many Alicorns around here.

Twilight Sparkle: Yes, but "Twilight" is fine.

Starlight Glimmer: So! How did you hear of our little village?

Twilight Sparkle: It's kind of a long story. Let's just say we found it on a map.

Pinkie Pie: Technically, it's a Tree-chest-castle-map!

Starlight Glimmer: Well, however you found us, we're happy to have you! We're happy to have anypony who wants to experience _true friendship_ for the first time.

Applejack: Say what?

Starlight Glimmer: Oh, indeed. That's what's so unique about our village, you see. Around here, we don't flaunt our special talents because we don't have any special talents to flaunt.

Saten: (flirtingly) Anything run by YOU is good enough for me!

Starlight: (ignores him)

Twilight: Is that why you all have those cutie marks?

Starlight Glimmer: Perhaps it would be _ea__sier_ to understand if I gave you a tour of the village!

* * *

[marching drum cadence]

**Starlight Glimmer: (singing) Life is so grand in Our Town We're always filled with cheer We never have to look around To know that we're all here**

**Citizens: (singing) In Our Town, in Our Town We don't have** _to_** wait To find out that our destiny Is just to emulate**

**Starlight Glimmer: (singing) Let's see those big, happy smiles! Life is a smile in Our Town Our cutie marks the same Because we do not separate Ourselves by more than name.**

**Citizens: (singing) In Our Town, in Our Town We dare not compete Winning only breeds the worst Ego-filled conceit**

**Starlight Glimmer: (singing) You see? Now _everybody_ wins! Life is a joy in Our Town We're all equal here No one is superior And no one shakes in fear.**

**Citizens: (singing) Our Town, in Our Town We work as a team You can't have a nightmare If you never dream.**

Saten: (speaking normally to the main six) Is anyone else creeped out by that dream line?

Main six: Shhhh

**Starlight Glimmer: (still singing) Other ponies argue Do you ever wonder why? When you think your talent's special You don't see eye-to-eye There's just too many differences That lead to disarray But when you learn to act as one It's like a holiday.**

**Citizens: In Our Town, in Our Town We don't complicate When you learn to simplify Life is oh, so great Join in our utopia Come out of the dark Banded by equality By our cutie mark!**

* * *

Rainbow Dash: [laughing] You're kidding, right? Give up our cutie marks? No wa-

Saten: (excitedly) I'm in!

Twilight: Okay, now your just getting desperate aren't you..

Saten: No.. I'm serious... I always hated my cutie mark, I always tell you that..

Rainbow Dash: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Is he for real!?

Saten: Hey.. Your not the one who spend your entire life with the WRONG cutie mark!

Rarity: But Saten.. You can't just

Saten: What do you care? You never liked me anyway.. Neither have you Twilight.

Twilight: When have we EVER shown hatred to you?.. (various cutaways of Twilight And Rarity openly expressing their hatred of Saten. Most times, to his own face)..

Starlight Glimmer: Terrfiic.. Welcome to the herd Saten.. Nobody has ever entered it, and ever wanted to leave.


	8. Chapter 8

LATER THAT SAME EVENING:

* * *

The main six were gathered at a table.

Pinkie: (saddened) I can't believe it.. Saten just left like that..

Twilight: Oh, he'll be back.. He's just trying to impress that Starlight, girl..

AJ: Ah don't know Twilight. Ah think this may be more serious than ya realize.. Ah mean.. Deep down. Saten is a very depressed person.. And having the change to lose the cutie mark he never wanted in the first place.. This is a big opportunity for him.

Twilight: Relax, it'll be fi-

Rarity: (gasps) What in the name of Equestria is _that_?!

Shopkeeper: Welcome! Care to sample some local fashion? We've got cloaks this month!

Rarity: (gagging) Wha- Ooh, er, perhaps another time, good sir, thank you. [whispering] No wonder nobody's wearing anything!

Fluttershy: (hushed) Really, girls! They may do things a bit differently than we're used to, but that's no reason to be rude.

Rainbow Dash: (hushed) No, the reason to be _rude_ is that they all keep staring at us!

Double Diamond: (creepy smile) Need something?

Twilight Sparkle: Uh, no! We're good! (hushed) Fluttershy's right. If we're going to get to the bottom of why the map sent us here, we'll need the help of these ponies.

Applejack: Ah think we ran off to the end of Equestria before we even knew what that map was!

Pinkie: If we were at the end of Equestria, we'd be sitting on a big 'A'! (giggles) Get it?

Rarity: Oh, please, Miss Pie! This is hardly the time for jokes! We've come all this way and for what?

Twilight: (hushed) Maybe you're right. But we're here now, and it sure feels like something's wrong.

Applejack: That and two bits'll get you a cup of cider.

Sugar Belle: Is this a bad time?

Fluttershy: We shouldn't be bickering like this in front of our new friends. Really, Applejack, you're almost as bad as Rainbow Dash!

Rainbow Dash: Don't drag me into this!

Sugar Belle: Is your friendship ending?

Pinkie: Are you _crazy_?! We'd never let a disagreement get in the way of _food_!

Sugar Belle: O-kay, well, my name is Sugar Belle. What can I bring you? We have. muffins...

Twilight: Then I guess we'll take six muffins!

Pinkie: Make that twelve! What? I'm hungry! Twilight: (hushed) Come on, girls. We've got to stick together. It doesn't matter what happened before, we're here now.

Applejack: Ah guess you're right. And the sooner we figure out why, the sooner we can go home.

Sugar Belle: Forgive me for overhearing, but just a moment ago you were disagreeing, and now it sounds like you're... agreeing.

Applejack: Uh-huh...

Sugar Belle: Well, you had such differing opinions – and cutie marks.

Rarity: We have differing opinions all the time, darling.

Sugar Belle: But you look like you're friends.

Twilight: We _are_ friends. A simple disagreement wouldn't change that.

Sugar Belle: I'm sorry, I'm just having a hard time understanding. Different talents lead to different opinions, which lead to bitterness and misery. So... why aren't you bitter and...?

Pinkie: (Eats muffin). (chocking) Blech!.. (realizes it was out loud).. I mean.. Mmmm... good...

Sugar Belle: It's all right. I know I'm not a very good baker. At least, I know I'm not any better than anybody else in the village. Well, I... hope you enjoy our little village!

Pinkie: (hacking).

Sugar Belle: (hushed) Come inside before you go! Meet me downstairs!

Rainbow Dash: Okay, _that_ was weird too.

Twilight: (hushed) Let's all sit here and eat these muffins and act normal. I think we're being watched.

Rainbow Dash: (sarcastically) You think?

Twilight: (hushed) No, not like that! I mean somebody here doesn't want us talking to Sugar Belle.

Applejack: Ah got an idea. But you gotta eat all of them muffins, Pinkie.

Pinkie: Me?! Why me?!

Applejack: Shh.. (hushed) You got a stronger stomach than any of us, and that filly in there might be our best chance at findin' out what the hay is goin' on round here.

Pinkie: (gulps)

* * *

Pinkie: (groaning in pain).

Applejack: (stitled) I can't believe ya ate _all_ our muffins, Pinkie Pie! We'd best go inside and get some more!

Twilight: (hushed) Nice work, Pinkie.

Pinkie: (groaning) I've accidentally eaten cardboard tastier than that...


	9. Chapter 9

MEANWHILE:

* * *

Starlight Glimmer kept her promise and not only removed Saten's awful cutie mark, but also allowed him in their group.

But Saten had to promise to not hit on her so much, as it was getting annoying.

Starlight Glimmer: It's always nice to have someone who truelly believes in our ways.. Though sorry it might of cost you respect from your friends..

Saten: Well.. A lot of them didn't respect me anyway.. But still, yeah. It was pretty awkward..

Starlight Glimmer: Sorry to hear that..

Saten: Well.. It's not the 'only' awkward experience I ever been though..

* * *

FLASHBLACK TO THE EPISODE "MAGIC DUEL":

Trixie: (getting ready to leave)..

Saten: (flies over) Trixie, wait!.. Don't leave without saying good bye.

Trixie: Sorry.. I thought you were still mad at me.. I mean, I tried to kick Twilight out of town and then tried to do the same to you..

Saten: Yeah. About that.. Why me? Why were you so mad at me!?

Trixie: Ohh, I don't know.. Maybe it's the fact that you were the only one in high school that EVER cared for me.. That you meant the world to me.. That I LOVED you!.. But you never loved me back!.. Instead, you fallen for some unattractive Southern girl, instead of me!.. That I finally had enough of waiting for the day that you might finally come to your senses and realize who you should of been with!..

Saten: So... You don't like AppleJac-

Trixie: YES, I DON'T LIKE APPLEJACK!

Saten: Okay. Chill chill.. I'm sorry okay... Here, take some fancy wine.. (gives her a full bottle of wine).

Trixie: (not sure what to say)..

Saten: And if it makes you feel better. Most girls say that when I kiss them.. They wanna puke.


	10. Chapter 10

Starlight Glimmer: [slightly muffled, over loudspeaker] In sameness, there is peace. Exceptionalism is a lie.

Starlight Glimmer: Free yourself from your cutie mark. Choose equality as your special talent.

Rainbow Dash: [over] [grunting]

Starlight Glimmer: [voice fades under] Difference is frustration. To excel is to fail.

Pinkie: Hey, this is pretty good!

Starlight Glimmer: [under] ''Be your best by never being your best.''

Twilight: Ugh, we've gotta find a way out of here! I can't take much more of that voice!

Rarity: Oh, this is horrible! [crying]

Fluttershy: There, there, Rarity... It's not so bad...

Twilight: You kidding!?.. This is almost as bad as when Master Sword slept over at my place on christmas!

FLASHBACK:

Twilight: (sleeping soundly).. (she is suddenly awaken by a loud gunshot) WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!? (runs done stairs, and suddenly gasps)..

Master Sword: (holding pistol, and Santa Clause is seen laying dead from a bullet though his head).. (groans). Before you start.

Twilight: Jesus christ!

Master Sword: (annoyedly) Okay! Before, you, start!

Twilight: HOLLY SHIT!

Master Sword: (annoyed) You gonna let me explain!?

Twilight: (angry) Yes Sword! I would love to know why you shot and killed, FATHER CHRISTMAS!

Master Sword: ... He startled me!

Twilight: (annoyed) HE STARTLED YOU!?

Master Sword: He! Startled me!

Twilight: (sarcastically) Oh, guess he should apologize than!

Master Sword: Well. That'll be kinda hard, cause.. I shot him..

Twilight: Great... So what now.

Master Sword: Well. Looks like I better save Christmas..

Twilight: You can't be serious!?

Master Sword: I don't see any other opinion..

Twilight: ... You planned this, didn't you!?

Master sword: Whaaaaat!? No!

Twilight: You planned this! I know you did!

Master Sword: You honestly think I wou-

Spike: (comes out, in elf costume) Hey Sword. The sled is ready, an. (sees twilight). Uh oh..

(long pause).

Master Sword: You would not believe how cheap that elf costume was.

Twilight: (starts growling)

Master Sword: (happily) I stole it.

Twilight: SWOOO-

Master Sword: LET ME HAVE MY NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS MOMENT!


	11. Chapter 11

Saten and Fluttershy: Starlight. I think we might have a new friend joining us.

Twilight: _(comes out of the room, and is the said "new friend")._

Starlight Glimmer: Ahh, so you finally came to your senses and are joining us..

Twilight: I.. I guess.. Are you sure I'll be happy here?

Starlight Glimmer: Coarse you will.. Just ask Saten here.

Saten: ... The showers don't work.

Starlight Glimmer: To be honest. Your the first to ever use one of them.. Most of us don't 'need' showers.. But hey. Your really old, so, it makes sense..

Saten: (groans) I'm two years younger than you..

Starlight Glimmer: (laughs) Tell that too bags under your eyes..

Saten: Just because your hot. It dosen't mean you can treat me like cra..

Twilight: I hate to interrupt.. But you sure I can't keep my old cutie mark.

Starlight Glimmer: Outta the question., a pony with a different cutie mark will destory everything..

Fluttershy: then explain THIS! (_throws water bucket at Glimmer but Glimmer dodges it)._

Starlight Glimmer: I knew you couldn't be trusted.. Get away!

But unfortunately for Starlight Glimmer, this STILL causes her secret to be exposed.

Party Favor: You still have your cutie map!

Saten: _(despite being fully aware of this, as he was there with Fluttershy when she looked though Starlight's window earlier) _I am shocked and appalled!


	12. Chapter 12

Party Favor: How could you!?

Double Diamond: Yeah., what about all that talking cutie marks being evil, and stuff.

Starlight Glimmer: T- They are!

Double Diamond: then why you still have yours!?... The staff was all the magic we needed!

Starlight Glimmer: (sighs).. The "staff" is just a stick I found.. I'M the magic!... Look.. Everything I said was still true! Your all be living your miserable lives!.. I made us equal!

Saten: But you lied to them..

Starlight Glimmer: (rudely) NOBODY ASKED YOU!

Pinkie: Hey, leave him alone!

Starlight Glimmer: Shut up! Both of you!... You guys ruined everything!... Everything was going so perfect!.. Then "you" came!.

Suger Belle: You think you will get away with this, becaus-

Starlight Glimmer: (sudden gives out a deranged scream, of what appears to be gibberious).

* * *

Skips to the main six trying to break into Statlight's house to get their cutie marks.

Saten: Let me try.. (dramatically raises his front hooves at the door) Open sesame!

Nothing happens.

Saten: (feeling defeated) well I did all I could do.


	13. Chapter 13

Skips to when our heroes are waiting to get back on the train back to ponyville.

Saten: Gotta admit.. It feels good to help people.

Rarity: But you didn't really do anythi-

Pinkie: Shh.. Don't ruin it for him.

Rarity: (smiles) fair enough.

Saten: Hey AppleJack.. Maybe you could finally go out with me again.. Considering I helped you get back your cutie mark. And even helped you from falling off the edge..

AppleJack: Afried not.,

Saten: (finally starting to lose his temper over it) Oh come on. I tried EVERYTHING,. What the hell will it take.

AppleJack: (sighs) You want the truth?

Saten: Against my better judgement.. Yes, I want the truth.

AppleJack: Truth is.. Yer a great guy.. But yer also a really bad influence on mah little AppleBloom.. It's kinda a deal breaker.

Saten: Oh come on! When have I EVER been a bad influence on AppleBloom.

* * *

_COLLECTION OF CUT AWAYS:_

_SCENE 1: _

_Saten: Hey kid, ever had rum? _

_AppleBloom: No._

_Saten: (pulls out bottle) You want to? _

_AppleBloom: (excitedly) Sure! _

_AppleJack: NOO!_

_SCENE 2: _

_Saten: (AppleBloom tells him she's feeling depressed) I am too. But for tangly I have a way to avoid these feeling.. (smokes weed joint)... Ahhhh. That hits the spot._

_SCENE 3: _

_Saten: (loses a video game to AppleBloom and unable to hold in his anger, starts using EVERY swear word, in front of her)._

_SCENE 5: _

_Saten: (convinces AppleBloom into doing most of the dangerous activities she dose in the show, believing it could get her her cutie mark)._

* * *

Saten: ... Okay except for maybe that 'one' time.

AppleJack: Ah'm sorry Saten. But it's just not gonna work.

Saten: (sadly) Ohhh..

Twilight: Cheer up Saten. Theirs still someone out there for you.. Some one will actually love you.

Saten: Love me... (gasps) That's it! (starts flying off).

Rainbow Dash: Were the heck are you doing!?

Saten: I.. Uhhh... Need to... Check something... (flies off) Don't wait up for me, I'll find anouther way home.

AppleJack: ... What was that about?

Rarity: No idea. But I don't really 'want' to know to know either.. Let's just get on the train.


	14. Chapter 14

Trixie finished one of her magic acts and was now leaving when suddenly Saten appeared out of seemingly nowhere, scaring her.

Trixie: (after calming down a bit) Saten? What you doing here!?

Saten: I, I came to watch you.

Trixie: Saten, I been a magician for nearly ten years, you NEVER come to watch me.

Saten: Yeah well... I, I really need to talk to you.

Trixie: Yeah well.. I'm not in the mood.. It's been a long day.. I just want to go home and take a bath.

Saten: I, I can walk you home..

Trixie: No thanks.. I need the alone time.. (starts leaving).

Saten: But I have to know... Do you still love me!?

Trixie: (freezes)... Well... Yeah... But... S, Sense when have 'you' cared.

Saten: I... Uhhh..

Trixie: No wait.. Let me guess... 'blondy' dumped you.

Saten: Well.. Yes... But...

Trixie: And now your finally gonna ask me out.. But only to make her jealous..

Saten: Not excatly... I don't care for her that way anymore.. We're just friends..

Trixie: Riiiiight..

Saten: Look, this is nothing to do with AppleJack..

Trixie: ... Then why are you here?

Saten: Well, truth is.. (holds Trixie's hooves, lovingly).. I finally see it now.. I seen that you've grown into a very beautiful young woman.

Trixie: (blushes) I, I have..

Saten: Yes! And you understand me better than anyone!... I, I'm sorry I've never realized that.. I, I was stupid.

Trixie: (laughs) yes you were.

Saten: ... A, Anyway. What you say cutie? Wanna be my girlfriend?

Trixie: ... Fine., but on two conditions.

Saten: Only two?.. That's 'already' better then AppleJack.

Trixie: One.. I am traveling a lot. And it dosen't look I'll be in Ponyville for quite some time.. So your have to call me everyday.

Saten: Sure. I can do that, no problem.

Trixie: Two.. You let me work on your jealousy.

Saten: What are you talking about? I never have jealousy..

Stallion: Hey Trixie, nice sho-

Saten: (angrily punches the stallion out cold) SHE'S MINNNE!

(brief silence).

Saten: (suddenly calm again) Anyway, what were we talking about?.

Trixie: I... Forget it. We're work on it later.

Saten: (nievely) Work on what? What are you talking about it?

Trixie: (giggles cutely) Don't worry about it.. (kisses his cheek).. (leaves) Bye now. Remember to call me.

Saten: (rubs the kissed cheek) Of coarse, of coarse.

* * *

END OF EPISODE 2:


	15. Chapter 15

**EPISODE 3: **

**(I feel that my version of Master Sword has enough popularity that this episode should focus on him)..**

* * *

Saten finally took a train back to Ponyville.

Loud police voice: GET DOWN ON THE GROUND ASSHOLE! (Saten freaks out and hides on the ground surrendering) I'LL SHOOT YOUR LEGS OFF!

Master Sword: (comes into view, driving police car). Hahaha! Gotcha.. Naw, it's just me.

Saten: Sword? You scared th- Oh shit, did you steal cop car!?.. That's crazy!

Master Sword: No, what's crazy. Is leaving it unintended, anyone cold of stole it.. Prove.. I did!

Saten: But dude! You can't steal police cars! You know how illage that is!?

Master Sword: Pffffft, who will pull over a police car.

Saten: I- ... Wow., your actually right.

Master Sword: Have I ever NOT been right?

(shows an image of Saten about to be lite from a powerful cannon in a very dangerious and unprofessional way, and Master Sword giving him thumbs up, as it was Master Sword's idea).


	16. Chapter 16

Master Sword is still driving the police car, Saten is now in the passinager seat.

Saten: I still can't believe you pulled this off dude.. And now your even speeding.

Master Sword: Yeah wel-

Radio: Car 53, we're you heading in such a hurry?

Master Sword: zoh shit that's us.. Uhhh... There's uh., bank robbery.

Radio: There's a bank robbery!?

Master Sword: Yes, we're.. We're heading their now! (turns on the Sirons and starts speeding).

Saten: Dude, we're are you going!?

Master Sword: Didn't you hear! Theirs a bank robbery!

Saten: What!? No theirs not-

Master Sword: PROTECT AND SERVE MOTHER FU-

* * *

SOON AFTER:

* * *

Suddenly the car Master Sword burst into the said bank.


	17. Chapter 17

Master Sword waved a loaded pistol around the bank.

Master Sword: YOUR BEING ROBBED! (Points gun at employee) WERE'S YOUR MONEY!

Employee: (crying) p, please don't kill me!

Master Sword: (dramatically) please don't MAKE ME!

(Sword and Saten arrive into the back of the bank)

Saten: Dude, what are you doing!?

Master Sword: No talk! We gotta take all this cash!

Saten: Soooo, nobody can steal it?

Master Sword: Uhhhhhh... Yeah!

Saten: Hmmm , Good idea (starts grabbing money bags)

(Outside)

Sword and Saten are sneaking off with money bags..

The cops from pony mov: FREEEEZE!

Saten: Oh shit! We're so dead!

Master Sword: Leave it to me... (To the pony mov cops), it's alright!.. We're cops!

(Long silence)

Sword and Saten are suddenly thrown into a jail cell.

Master Sword: Damn it! I was so so sure that was gonna work!


	18. Chapter 18

Trixie: (answers her phone) Hello?

Saten: Hey cutie

Trixie: ... Saten?

Saten: You said to call you everyday, remember

Trixie: Yes, but honey, this isn't a good time, I'm about to preform... I'll call you back, promise

Saten: Wait, wait, this is my- (Trixie didn't hear him and hung up).. Last... Phone call.

Saten: (angrily hangs up).. (Angrily points at Sword) THIS IS YOUR FAULT!

Master Sword: (reading magazine) It's not so bad.. Just chill, least you still have me

Saten: Your making my skin crawl!

Master Sword: Still, look at it this way... It could be worse!

Saten: Worse?

Master Sword: Yeah. You could be a big red Pegasus

Saten: ... (Sighs) Well, this is the end.. (Falls on the bed, feeling defeated).

Master Sword: I wouldn't count on it.. I have an idea

Saten: (sarcastially) Yeah, because your last one was SOOOOO

well done.

Master Sword: (nievely) how nice of you..

Master Sword: And anyway. I may know someone on the inside.. So just hang in there


	19. Chapter 19

LATER:

* * *

Airbourne: And that's why you should let my client go..

Judge : Please sir your client Master Sword has been caught robbing a blank with a stolen police car... And all you did was show up, sit down, and say "that's why you should let him go"..

Airbourne: ... I'll give you twenty bucks.

Judge: DONE! (pounds hammer).

* * *

LATER AGAIN:

* * *

Master Sword: See, told you my friend will get us out.

Saten: I guess... He creeps me out though.. He kept asking for an dirty picture of Twilight..

Master Sword: Oh yeah. Same way I have one for your Derpy

Saten: (angrily) WHAT!?

Master Sword: Yeah, have it over my wall-

Saten: (punches Sword in the face).

Master Sword: (holding his bloody nose) still worth it!

* * *

**thats all I got so end of episode..**


	20. EPISODE 3

(Inside a local restaurant).

Saten: So glad your finally in ponyville..

Trixie: It's not permanent, remember that.

Saten: Yeah., but it's a whole week!

Trixie: True... (Looks around) but is this really the best you can get for our first 'real' date?

(It's shown they are in a cheap fast food restaurant).

Saten: I'm sorry., but I'm kinda broke these days..

Trixie: Oh., I have lots of spare money.

Saten: No, no.. I couldn't possibly take my girlfriends money like that.

Trixie: (playfully) but your fine with stealing her friesS

Saten: Just the curly ones you don't like..

Trixie: No.. I love them, and save them for last, but their gone, cause you ate them..

Saten: ... Oh

Waiter: Here are your napkins. (Gives them napkins)

Saten: (notices Trixie has 2 extra ones)

Saten: (sudden anger) Hey! Why dose she get more!?... ARE YOU HITTING ON HER!?

Waiter: Wha-

Saten: (pounds table) I WILL FUCK YOU UP!

Waiter: (runs off in fear)

Trixie: (sighs) Honey, I thought we talked about your jealously?

Saten: I'm trying., but I don't want to end like my father after h-

Waiter 2: (hands Trixie water) Here's your wat-

Saten: (leaps onto him and starts attacking him).

SOON AFTER:

Saten: (is literary thrown out of the restaurant).

Trixie: (runs over) Are you okay!?

Saten: Oh yeah., this isn't the first time this happened


	21. Chapter 21

LATER:

* * *

Scootaloo: Hey Saten, how'd it go..

Saten: Well... I was thrown out again.. I really do have to work on my jealously. But I'm just so scared to lose her.

Scootaloo: Well everyone has to face their fears eventually... I would know.

* * *

FLASHBACK:

* * *

Is caught in a dream, and cornered by the headless horse when suddenly it is magically zapped away and someone from canterlot warmly greeted her.

scootaloo: ... D- Ditto?

Ditto: Yep.. Luny was busy so she sent me instead. Plus Celestia is trying to lose a bit of weight and dosen't want there for it.

Scootaloo: Really?.. What did you do?

Ditto: Nothing. I did nothing.

Scootaloo: (unconvinced)

Ditto: (sighs) one little fat joke..

Scootaloo: She didn't take it so well huh?

Ditto: Well.. I'm here.

Scootaloo: (laughs)

Ditto: Yeah, yeah.. But anyway. Your scared of something.. Is it liking a boy?

Scootaloo: Noo

Ditto: I had crush on Cadence when I was younger and still in school.

Scootaloo: but your like 12 years older than her?

Ditto: (playfully) what's your point?

Scootaloo: (keeps smiling)

Ditto: But anyway.. You only have two hours left of this dream s-

Scootaloo: This is a dream!?

Ditto: Yes bu-

Scootaloo: (starts flying around)

Ditto: (stops her) Kiddo.. Just tell me what's bothering you...

Scootaloo: I-

Ditto: You can tell me anything remember. You said I'm like your big brother

Scootaloo: .. I, I'm Afried Rainbow Dash won't think I'm as cool as she thought.

Ditto: Everyone has fears sweetie.. But facing them makes us stronger.. But if you don't, the nightmares will only get worse.

(Scootaloo wakes up soon after this)

Scootaloo: Darn. Forgot to ask him what's it like being police chief..


	22. Chapter 22

(Knock on AppleJack's door)

AJ: (opens it) ... Trixie!?

Trixie: I need to talk about Saten?

AJ: Oh boy., what's he done this time?

Trixie: Nothing, nothing.. It's just... I'm getting worried about him.. He's always so angry.. It's like dating the hulk.

AJ: Ah know.. It's kinda why I left him.

Trixie: I know.. He understands that know.. But still.. There must be something I can do.. It's starting to break my heart.

AJ: Well.. It's just the way he is ah guess.. He gets so jealous because he grew up seeing his father constantly cheat on his mother.. And than his mother took it out in 'him'.. Leaving his with loveless parents.

Trixie: I know.. I net his mother myself.. It's sad.. She was once a good person.. Now she's on drugs.

AJ: Man.. Even worse than ah thought.

Trixie: Kinda makes me glad MY childhood was so good..

AJ: (suspicious) Really?.. Tell me about it?

(several minutes later)

Trixie: (sobbing uncontrollably) I know my father wanted a boy!.. And he even called me slugger until I got to the age of developing as a woman.. And then he just STOPPED playing catch with me!.. And I wasn't slugger anymore.. (Blows nose).

AJ: (sitting, lessoning) Ah see.

Trixie: (still crying) And mom could of just said "Jack, she's a girl, get over it".. But she didn't! Not one word, the whole time! (cries into her own soft hooves).

AJ: (pats her back) There, there.. But at least ah have an idea for Saten now...

Trixie: (sniffs) I guess this means I should start seeing my old therapist again.

AJ: Hmmm... Maybe you should get Saten an appointment with him or her as well.. Might help his 'issues'


	23. Chapter 23

Therapist: So.. Your Mrs Lulamoon's boyfriend?

Saten: I guess I am.

Therapist: She's a sweet kid., And she seems very concerned for you... And I must say.. After examining your files... She should of came to me "sooner".

Saten: What are you talking about.. I'm perfectly fine

Therapist: You killed 3 people..

Saten: Not on purpose!

Therapist: And sent 2 into the hospital.

Saten: ... Okay, you got me there... But they were calling Trixie fat

Therapist: So you break their legs!?

Saten: And I would do it again and again.

Therapist: Uhh... Let's just skip into it.. She says you hate your dad.. How is he anyway?

Saten: Dead

Therapist: ... And your mother?

Saten: Killed him

Therapist: ... Wanna talk about that?

Saten; Just did

Therapist: ... Okay... Let's talk about your mother than... Firstly, what's her name?

Saten: Maddy., Maddy Twist... And she is EVIL!

Therapist: I'm sensing some anger towards this Maddy character

Saten: (sarcastically) Ohh, your good

Therapist: Tell me then.. Why do you hate your mother, mister Twist?

Saten: ... (Sighs) Fine... I'm not saying I hate her.. Frankly I felt bad for her.. My father was a bully and and drunk.. He would always cheat on her and beat her up., Make her feel like she's not worthy of him, and not pretty enough for him. Even though she's actually "very" pretty.. And also beat me up just as badly.. His idea of 'love' is calling me the broken condom child, what wasn't suppose to fuckin happen in the first place... When he died., I can't say I was too saddened by his lose.. And Maddy even less so... But instead of trying to show me the love dad NEVER did.. Maddy instead chose to

completely ignore me.. And began dating a series of men.. Who couldn't care less about me!.. But that was fine.. Maddy saw me as just some "thing" she can bring out whenever it suited her.. And when it didn't she'd sent me to boarding school., or Jewish camp, where I got beat up for not even being JEWISH!.. Frankly the ONLY one to care for me was Derpy.. She's the only woman one in my family who dosen't beat me up for no particular reason!... And this is why I NEVER bring up my cold, loveless childhood!

Therapist: ... Well... Seems your not ready to talk about it..

Saten: But I ju-

Therapist: Sorry mate.. We're out of time.. Close the door on your way out..

(LATER THAT SAME EVENING)..

Trixie: Sorry the doctor couldn't help you..

Saten: Well.. I didn't have much faith in him.. I'm quite use to being unloved..

Trixie: That's not true.. I will 'always' love you Saten.

Saten: I know.. And thank you.

Trixie: I might know how to cheer you up.

Saten: And how do you plan on tha-

Trixie: (kisses him on the lips).. Feel better?

Saten: ... About what?

Trixie: (giggles rather cutely) never mind..

END OF EPISODE:


	24. Chapter 24

**Afried I'm ending season 2 here.. Working on the 3rd season of Trevor Phillips series and deciding to focus my energy on that one..**

**Pinkie Pie is involved in the series, she became Trevor's 'pet pony'.**

**But Trevor turned her from cute Pinkie Pie., into the deranged Pinkamena (Cupcakes Pinkie)..**

**since I'm bring this us., here's best of "psycho pinkie" in the T. P. Series.**

* * *

SEASON 1 EPISODE 5:

lazlo: Please don't kill me., (holds up Pinkie Pie) I'll give you my pet pony.

Michael: It'll take more than tha-

Trevor: I LOVE IT! (Grabs her and despite being a mentally insane mass murderer, he hugs her like a big teddy bear)

(Later)

Trevor: (walking Pinkie like a dog).

Mixhael: Your not seriously gonna keep that thing are you!?

Trever: What's the worst I could do to this little pony.

(A few days pass and it's revealed the events of SMILE HD, Is because of Trevor's influence on young Pinkie.

SEASON 2 EPISODE 1:

Trevor: Is this really nesseary?

Pinkie: Yes., how are you to be my boss if you haven't even seen the real show.

Trevor: Fine, but if this turns me into a wussy it's your faul- (brain washing sounds)

TV: you are now watching my little pony

Trevor: (brainwashed) I am now watching my little pony

TV: My little pony is the greatest show I've ever seen... Except maybe family guy.

Trevor: My little pony is the greatest show I ever seen. Except maybe family guy.

TV: You will recommend both my little pony and family guy to everybody you know.

Trevor: (brainwashed) I will recommend my little pony and family guy to everybody I know.

TV: You will never stop talking about my little pony.. Or family guy

Trevor: (brainwashed) I will never stop talking about my little pony or family guy.

(Later)

Michael; (after finishing a mission with Trevor)., things will slow down soon. I promise

Trevor: You know what's NOT slowing down. My little pony. Greatest show I've seen since family guy.

Michael: God! You never shut up about those fuckin shows!

SEASON 3 EPISODE 1:

Mailman: Please don't kill me!

Trevor: Fine.. I won't kill you

Mailman: Thank go-

Trevor: Pinkie will

Mailman: Who?

Pinkie: (leaps on him and violent beat up sounds fill the air along with splashes of blood).

Trevor: (calmly) remember to go for the heart

Pinkie: Yes boss. (Ripping sounds).

Trevor: Good girl.

(LATER IN THE SAME EPISODE):

Man: (sitting in his car reading).

Pinkie: (appears out of nowhere holding Michael's gun, for she dosen't have her own yet).

Pinkie: (screaming violently) GET OUT OF THE FUCKIN CAR! (The man screams in fear) GET OUT OF THE FUCKIN CAR WAIT NOW! (Breaks the window open with the gun) GET OUUUT!

Michael: (nervously pulls the man out and he and Pinkie drive off).

Michael: Did we just jack somebody!?

Pinkie: (cutely) We sure did Mikey.. We suuuure did.

(FOR MORE, READ THE SERIES ITSELF)..


End file.
